Kid Junction

What’s your function?

Today I took the boys to Kid Junction, an indoor playground/arcade, and they had a pretty good time. I worry with places like these, because some are so big and/or elaborate that it’s hard to keep an eye on twins, but this place was laid out so that the boys were easier to track.

There were climbing…um…things, closed off areas for the smaller kids, an arcade, a dining area, a cafe, and rooms where kids can pretend to be postal workers or grocery store customers or other things they will hopefully never, ever get stuck doing when they grow up.

The cafe had a fairly wide selection as play zone cafes go, and the prices were mostly lower than I would have expected. No outside food is allowed inside and it’s a nut-free zone, so plan accordingly. In our case, we got two free drink tickets with our passes. I asked for milk, but the drink vouchers only work for soda, coffee, and juice. The boys don’t get soda or juice and they’d already had enough coffee in the morning. I understand that milk costs more, but it would have been nice if a healthy drink option existed for use with vouchers, free or not.

Our hands got marked when we came in to show we paid, which is fine, but we were checked again with a UV light on the way out. The boys were well behaved, thankfully, but if they’d been throwing a tantrum and fighting with me as I put their shoes on, I would have politely informed the attendant where s/he could store the light for safekeeping. I assume this was because they wanted to double check whether we had paid already? If that’s the case, and we had somehow snuck past the two-door, manned lobby, would they make us give back the fun?

The place was as clean as can be expected, although the tiny diaper trashcan (Diaper Champ, to be specific) was broken. The staff wasn’t surly or rude, but seemed absolutely joyless. Does that happen when you work in a building usually packed with screaming kids and whiney parents? Probably. I think that would make me dead inside, too.

There is free Wi-Fi and a dining area, so parents can be on their phones and computers and get a break from their kids and/or ignore them while somewhere “Cats In the Cradle” plays softly. Seriously, though, I was a little surprised that I was one of only two parents I saw the entire time we were there who was actually playing with our kids. I definitely get it if your kids are old enough to look after themselves a bit and you want some grown-up time, but I figured more parents would be making nom-nom sounds while trying to avoid eating the plastic pizza slice their tots are trying to force-feed them.

We’ll be back.


When you haven’t driven a car for a long time and find out it got infested by mice.


Pictured: Why we won’t have guns in the house.


“Look, I like you, but not ‘hug you’ like you.”


This might have been their favorite thing. I’m not even joking.



His field goal percentage was only like .18.



Running real errands: they want to go home. At awesome play zone: They want to run imaginary errands.


Pfft, the Capri Suns would never get stocked next to the rice. F on authenticity, Kid Junction.


“Yes, 911? My dad saw me working a toy cash register in a pretend grocery store, and I think he’s having some sort of PTSD episode.”



“Fire station? Fix-it shop? Space ship? I’ve got it! A post office! What kid doesn’t want to grow up to be a surly, over-worked government employee?” – KJ designer, apparently


Animal hospital! Now we’re talking!


“Will my cow be okay, doctor?” “I’m afraid she’s got cudstipation.” “Oh no! Is it hopeless?” “Udderly hopeless.”


So they can learn how to work the knobs on a stove.


This isn’t edible, but that didn’t stop M from trying to take a bite, nor from trying to force feed it to me.



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